Costume Hire

From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Wednesday, 27 January 2010 12:33 PM
To: *******@character*********.com
Subject: Costume

Hello,

I am just wondering if you have any ninja costumes? Because, unbeknown to you, I am a ninja.

Regards,
Tony B. Smalls

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From: *******@character*********.com
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Costume
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 2010 16:23:53 +0800

Hi Tony

We have several Ninja costumes in our store, availability depends on the date you require the costume. If you look under the heading of ‘Country of Origin’ on our website you will see two ninja’s. The Ninja deluxe warrior is a fabulous costume and is currently avail this weekend. If you wish to speak with us please call on the number below.

Kind regards,
Character **********

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From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Wednesday, 27 January 2010 4:42 PM
To: *******@character*********.com
Subject: RE: Costume

Yes, well as I have previously stated, I am a ninja. So i just need a costume so people will recognise that. It will also serve as a warning to people not to get in my way, because they might just wake up dead the next day. Out of curiosity, are they only available for hire? Or can they be purchased? Im sure you would understand, a ninja is a ninja 24/7.

The ninja deluxe warrior looks good. Im not going to lie. But I am the best, and need the best. Do you have a Native Delux Bam-Bam All-Out Warrior Shemale Ninja costume by any chance? If not, ill just settle for the ninja deluxe warrior.

What is rough pricing on these? For hire and purchasing.

Thanking you,
Tony

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From: *******@character*********.com
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Costume
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 2010 10:24:51 +0800

Hi Tony

We are a hire company and therefore do not sell our costumes, however, you could probably purchase one from the U.S. with a little research. The deluxe ninja I mentioned from our website is our best Ninja (my personal opinion, although, it does have gold trim and dragon detail also in gold. I’m not sure just how stealth that would be.) To hire said Ninja it would cost you $70 per hire with a $50 bond.

Kind regards,
Character **********

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From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Thursday, 28 January 2010 10:50 AM
To: *******@character*********.com
Subject: RE: Costume

Can I please be able to put a name to these emails? You already know my name. I think its only fair. However, i think your name is Stephanie. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Im sure for the right price you'd be willing to sell a costume? Unfortunately I do not want to go offshore to buy my ninja costume. I am a big fan of Australian made products. That's why I dont wear Bonds anymore. As soon as i heard they were going offshore, I punched a hole in my door. Bunch of wankers.

I believe it when you say it is your best costume. Can you track any others down by any chance? You need not worry about stealth, that is my number one attribute. Im using it right now, and you dont even know it. As for the gold trim and gold dragon detail, a true ninja would know how to use that to their advantage. I'll give you a tip. Jewellery shop. Enough said.

So all up it would cost me $120? You say for hire only. What if i was to maybe, hire it, forever? Is this possible?

Regards,
T. Smalls

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From: *******@character*********.com
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Costume
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 2010 11:33:52 +0800

Hi Tony

It saddens me to tell you that our costumes are purchased abroad and very few are Australian made, please don’t punch any doors, you may hurt yourself. We do not hire indefinitely, however, I can ask the powers that be if they would order you in a costume to purchase from us. We seldom sell ex-hire costumes and considering the Ninja is quite new we would not be selling him any time soon. I can not at this time give you a price for a new costume as these things require research from our fearless leader.

The total cost of hiring the ninja is $120, although, you get your $50 bond back if the costume comes back undamaged. The hire cost is over a 4 day period (Thurs – Mon) however if you only needed it for one night the cost is still the same.

Kind regards,
Av
Character **********

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From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Thursday, 28 January 2010 12:32 PM
To: *******@character*********.com
Subject: RE: Costume

Gavin? Is your name Gavin?

Firstly, it saddens me to tell you that I will not hurt myself punching a door. The door is the only one that gets injured. When Tony Smalls punches a door. Tony Smalls doesnt get hurt. The door gets ninja'd. Now you remember that, and you will live a very long life. Chuck Norris stole all the jokes about me, and made them about him. Because thats what he is. He is a joke.

When you say you need your fearless leader to do some research, I sit here (whilst doing 620 push-ups and 980 situps, all at the same time) making the assumption that I am just talking to some inferior little wanna-be. If this is the case, the conversation stops here. I am the best and im insulted that i do not get the best in return. Since when does the worlds best ninja associate with these people.

I demand to speak to your 'fearless' leader. This will break your heart, but whoever it is, they wont be fearless after they have met me.

Outraged,
Tony B. Smalls

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From: *******@character*********.com
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Costume
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 2010 14:19:49 +0800

Hi Tony

I'm sorry you feel that way, unfortunately, our boss has 3 shops and travels constantly between locations and thus is not here to answer emails. It is part of my job, however, it is not my job to give quotes and false promises to delusional Ninja's. If you would like to order a costume to purchase let me know and I will organise a quote for you. Alternatively if you would like to hire our Deluxe Ninja costume please feel free to call us on the number below to make a booking.

My name is not Stephanie or Gavin. It is Aiveen, however, sometimes other staff members attend to the emails.

Kind regards,
Character **********

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From:Tony Smalls (tonysmalls@live.com.au)
Sent:Thursday, 28 January 2010 5:49:16 PM
To: *******@character*********.com

Ohhh. I was SO close with gavin! I was going to say Aiveen. That was my next guess.

For your information, I am far from delusional. The emails stop here unless I speak with your Grand Master. Then I can defeat him and be your boss. I will then proceed to fire you. Because a ninja doesnt need help running three stores simultaneously. I will then re-employ you to clean up all the bodies of people who get in my way.

Remember the name, Tony Smalls.

Regards,
Tony B. Smalls

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From:********** (*******@character*********.com)
Sent:Friday, 29 January 2010 12:35:55 PM
To: 'Tony Smalls' (tonysmalls@live.com.au)

Ok Tony
Thankyou for the giggles. From everyone at **********, good luck on your quest!

Kind regards,

Character **********