ORIGINAL AD:
I am looking for passengers for a relaxed no rush chilledout siteseeing road trip to melbourne. I have a camper that sleeps 2 coumfortbly 3 or 4 not as coumfortubly. Also tent that sleeps 3. I will take 1 to 3 people. The camper has a cooker and a small fridge. Petrol shair is a must and drive shair would be preferabul. I am looking to leave on march 6 0r 7 but I am flexable to a date after that. I am an easygoing friendly 28 year old male from England. If intrested call, email or drop in to my work which is also my home at the moment and ask for Ian. Thankyou
___________________________________________________________________
Helo Ian!,
I want to ride with you on this quest. I am the most chilledout dude you will ever meet. I can drive too, so we can shair the driving and petrol costs. It is preferabul for me to leave on 6 Or 7 March too. My birthday is on the 14th. Maybe we can celebrate that together?
I am very intrested. I am a very coumfortble guy to travel with. Very experienced. Please contact me back via email.
Regards,
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
From Ian to Tony Smalls:
Hey thanks for replying to my gumtree ad. If you want to come then thats cool. We should meet up first I think for a beer and just make shure we will get on I am shure we will. Where are you in perth? Ian
__________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Ian:
Ian,
No worries. If you have any other ad on gumtree, ill gladly reply to that one two. Oh yay. I want to come alrihgt. Mebourn is my favourite place in the hole of Austria!
Just a beer? How a bout ate of them! Thats what I always say. But id prfer berben. Beer isnt reely for me. When you say chilledout, does it mean we have to do weeed? Coz id be fully open to that if you really want to. Never done it befor. Have u?
I am in Mt Lawley. Were are u?
From Tony
__________________________________________________________________
From Ian to Tony Smalls:
Hey dude Yer I love beer, weed and Berbben so yes I will be smoking weed You dont have to but you can if you want. If it turns out to be a road trip like out of Fear and Loathing then that woulednt be a bad thing ha ha ha ha.
If you want to meet up for a few beers or berbens on sunday I am free. I am living on Ozbourn park at the moment. I am not shure where Mt Lawley is but I can find it. Just give me a cal man. Ian
__________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Ian:
Ian,
Yes. Ill smoke the green stuff. I cant wait to go to la la land with you. Have you been to la la land before? Will you take me there? What is Fear and Loathing? Maybey you cood hire it out and we can have a movie night sometime. Is it scary? Im not good with scary movies. Have you seen Wolf Creek? THAT roadtrip would be fun.
Oh yeh Ozbourn Park hey? Thats close. Im currently in Gildford. But tomorrow im moving to Albany. Want 2 meete ther?
Looking forward to our trip full of cocaine and underage hookers,
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
From Ian to Tony Smalls:
I think your taking the piss mate. witch one of Tods mates are you!
__________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Ian:
Ian,
You must have a rather funny bunch of mates if you think this is a prank. I assure you, it is not. My name is Tony Smalls. Some call me a ninja. If we go on this roadtrip, I can help you to become something that slightly resembles a ninja.
I repeat, I do not know this 'Tod' you speak of. He sounds like a fag.
Regards,
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
From Ian to Tony Smalls:
youre some kind of comedian pal! Very funny ha ha ha ha
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Ian:
Ian,
I am very much delighted if you think I am a comedian. Its the best compliment ive had since my ex girlfriend said I have a bigger penis than the guy she was cheating on me with. He was a midget.
So when do we leave? Will you supply the ecstacy? Or will I have to supply that as well as the cocaine and underage hookers?
Regards,
Tony
___________________________________________________________________
From Ian to Tony Smalls:
I am sorry mate but I am not shure if you are for real or just taking the piss what the fuck was all that ninja shit about ha ha ha ha. I am finding this very amusing eather way. Also are you taking the piss with my speeling mistakes or what! I all ways forget to use the spellchecker
Ian
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Ian:
Ian,
I am definitely for real and I am definitely a ninja. Dont believe it? Look behind you. GONE! Gone before you could even turn your head.
So when are we going? I need to get out of this state. Urgently. Im currently out on bail and im as guilty as anything. Got caught red handed. So I need out. When can we go? Please make it as soon as possible. And no, your spelling is all absolutely correct.
Regards,
Tony
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Ian again:
Ian,
I just had a call from my mate Davo. Hes just escaped from Casuarina Prison. Can we get going this arvo?
Regards,
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
From Ian to Tony Smalls:
Yer of course we can no worrys you fucking loony!
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Ian:
Ian,
Okay good. U got everything together? Sorry, havent had time to organise the cocaine. But u must have the weed yeh? Also, because im skipping bail, im going to be out of pocket 50 grand. Theres a pretty easy bank to hit over in Melbourne, all I need you to do is drive. Me and Davo will do all the work.
When can we meet and go? An hour?
Regards,
Tony Smalls
__________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Ian:
This is constable Mark Butcher. Are you aware that you are aiding a known criminal escape the state? This is completely against Western Australian law. You show a blatant disregard to the community by putting it under such threat. If you know the whereabouts of Tony Smalls or David Swallow, contact me immediately.
Regards,
Mark Butcher
___________________________________________________________________
From Ian to Tony Smalls:
Fare cop guv you caute me red handed! ha ha ha ha your a right jumbo joker you!
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Ian:
Yo man this is davo where the fuck has Tony gone? Have you taken Tony? What the fuck are you thinking. Did you dob him into the copper? Man if you have done anything to tony ill fuck you up. Now are u gonna take us to fucking melbourne or what. i need out of here. if you dont, ill cut ya dick off muthfucka
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Ian again:
Davo mate. Its Tony here. Calm down. I just went to the shops and thought I was being followed so I had to bail. Its okay. Ill come back in an hour.
Ian, Can we leave soon please? Or are you not upto taking us anymore? Please reply with urgency.
Regards,
Tony
Monday, February 15, 2010
Car Help
From Tony Smalls to RAC:
Hello,
My car is broken down at my house and I need somebody to come out and have a look at it. I think ive locked the keys in there.
Regards,
Tony
___________________________________________________________________
From Terry to Tony Smalls:
Hi Tony
To have a patrol call out and unlock your car you will have to be a member of the RAC to arrange a call or join RAC if you are not a member the cost will be Joining fee $36 standard membership fee for 1 year and charge for 1st call $100 total cost to join if you are a no member $219
Regards
Terry *****
RAC Motoring Advice
__________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Terry:
Terry,
I dont need you to call the police. No need for a patrol car. I just need somebody who works for you to come out and see what they can do. I am an RAC member, but im not too sure of my membership number. Can this be sorted out later?
How do we go about this? I need to have my car up and running again by Thursday for when I leave my house for the only time this month. I unfortunately suffer from Agoraphobia. Do you know what that is?
Regards,
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
Hi Tony as I stated in my email you have to be a paid up member of RAC for us to call out if you call 131111 and supply membership number or vehicle registration No that will bring up your membership no then once confirmed a fully paid up member of RAC the operator can arrange a call out to unlock you car
Regards
Terry *****
RAC Motoring Advice
__________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Terry:
Terry,
Well as my car is parked outside, I cannot get a licence plate number for you. Its parked behind a tree and cannot see it from the window. Maybe I will just have to pay the fee for a non RAC member. It even looks as though the rear left window could be open, but again, I am not sure.
Regards,
Tony
___________________________________________________________________
From Terry to Tony Smalls:
Hi Tony
We only call out if you are a member if you call 13 1111 the operator could check by your name and address
Regards
Terry *****
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Terry:
Terry,
As I have not been outside in a long while, im not entirely sure what my street number is. Is it possible to get somebody to drive around to my house to see what the number is on my letterbox? I will then have the required info to call your 13 1111 number.
Regards,
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
From Courtney to Tony Smalls:
Hello Mr Smalls,
Thank you for your email, I have noticed you are emailing from UK. You have contacted RAC Western Australia. If you require assistance from RAC UK then they will have a different website and contact details.
If you are requiring assistance from RAC Western Australia, we unfortunately will not be able to check your street number for you as our patrol service will attend to assist with your vehicle but we do require the address we are attending.
Please advise if it is RACWA that you require assistance from.
Regards,
Courtney ****
Customer Relations Specialist
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Courtney:
Courtney,
Where did Terry go? I want terry back!
It is definitely RACWA that I require assistance. I moved from the UK four years ago for reasons I would prefer not to discuss in this email. Something happened, it was a random attack, I had a baby, and well that is why I am now an Agoraphobiac. I assure you that I DO live in Western Australia.
As I have stated, I do not know my street address. Perhaps you could put me onto the phone of one of your RAC cars and I could direct them to my house?
Regards,
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
Hi Tony,
Apologies, Terry is in the technical advice department so I have taken over your query as I am in the membership roadside assistance department and will be better suited to help you. I have looked in our database and am having trouble locating a current or lapsed membership for you. Can you please provide me with what you do know of your street address so I can do another search on this?
As advised by Terry, you do need to be a member of RAC for us to provide you with assistance. We can organise a membership for you of which will need to be paid in full by credit card prior to us arranging for a patrol to assist you.
Is there a telephone number we can contact you on to discuss membership options?
Regards,
Courtney ****
Customer Relations Specialist
___________________________________________________________________
Court,
Am I able to be put back through to Terry? He was helping just fine. If not, then I guess you will do. He just better understands my situation.
I am also struggling to locate a current membership. I think the case may be that I was MEANT to become a member, but didnt. I honestly had every intention to. I am very apologetic about this matter. Please accept my apologies.
Now if you could please just send a vehicle out to help, Ill be sure to sign up after. It looks as though there are now a flock of birds living in my car. Last time I accidentally left an open packet of chips on the back seat, and now they are feeding from them and there is poo everywhere. I am terrified of birds. Do you think you could send somebody out to scare away the birds and clean up the chips, then maybe I will run out there and get my street name and number for you?
Regards,
Tony
Hello,
My car is broken down at my house and I need somebody to come out and have a look at it. I think ive locked the keys in there.
Regards,
Tony
___________________________________________________________________
From Terry to Tony Smalls:
Hi Tony
To have a patrol call out and unlock your car you will have to be a member of the RAC to arrange a call or join RAC if you are not a member the cost will be Joining fee $36 standard membership fee for 1 year and charge for 1st call $100 total cost to join if you are a no member $219
Regards
Terry *****
RAC Motoring Advice
__________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Terry:
Terry,
I dont need you to call the police. No need for a patrol car. I just need somebody who works for you to come out and see what they can do. I am an RAC member, but im not too sure of my membership number. Can this be sorted out later?
How do we go about this? I need to have my car up and running again by Thursday for when I leave my house for the only time this month. I unfortunately suffer from Agoraphobia. Do you know what that is?
Regards,
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
Hi Tony as I stated in my email you have to be a paid up member of RAC for us to call out if you call 131111 and supply membership number or vehicle registration No that will bring up your membership no then once confirmed a fully paid up member of RAC the operator can arrange a call out to unlock you car
Regards
Terry *****
RAC Motoring Advice
__________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Terry:
Terry,
Well as my car is parked outside, I cannot get a licence plate number for you. Its parked behind a tree and cannot see it from the window. Maybe I will just have to pay the fee for a non RAC member. It even looks as though the rear left window could be open, but again, I am not sure.
Regards,
Tony
___________________________________________________________________
From Terry to Tony Smalls:
Hi Tony
We only call out if you are a member if you call 13 1111 the operator could check by your name and address
Regards
Terry *****
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Terry:
Terry,
As I have not been outside in a long while, im not entirely sure what my street number is. Is it possible to get somebody to drive around to my house to see what the number is on my letterbox? I will then have the required info to call your 13 1111 number.
Regards,
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
From Courtney to Tony Smalls:
Hello Mr Smalls,
Thank you for your email, I have noticed you are emailing from UK. You have contacted RAC Western Australia. If you require assistance from RAC UK then they will have a different website and contact details.
If you are requiring assistance from RAC Western Australia, we unfortunately will not be able to check your street number for you as our patrol service will attend to assist with your vehicle but we do require the address we are attending.
Please advise if it is RACWA that you require assistance from.
Regards,
Courtney ****
Customer Relations Specialist
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Courtney:
Courtney,
Where did Terry go? I want terry back!
It is definitely RACWA that I require assistance. I moved from the UK four years ago for reasons I would prefer not to discuss in this email. Something happened, it was a random attack, I had a baby, and well that is why I am now an Agoraphobiac. I assure you that I DO live in Western Australia.
As I have stated, I do not know my street address. Perhaps you could put me onto the phone of one of your RAC cars and I could direct them to my house?
Regards,
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
Hi Tony,
Apologies, Terry is in the technical advice department so I have taken over your query as I am in the membership roadside assistance department and will be better suited to help you. I have looked in our database and am having trouble locating a current or lapsed membership for you. Can you please provide me with what you do know of your street address so I can do another search on this?
As advised by Terry, you do need to be a member of RAC for us to provide you with assistance. We can organise a membership for you of which will need to be paid in full by credit card prior to us arranging for a patrol to assist you.
Is there a telephone number we can contact you on to discuss membership options?
Regards,
Courtney ****
Customer Relations Specialist
___________________________________________________________________
Court,
Am I able to be put back through to Terry? He was helping just fine. If not, then I guess you will do. He just better understands my situation.
I am also struggling to locate a current membership. I think the case may be that I was MEANT to become a member, but didnt. I honestly had every intention to. I am very apologetic about this matter. Please accept my apologies.
Now if you could please just send a vehicle out to help, Ill be sure to sign up after. It looks as though there are now a flock of birds living in my car. Last time I accidentally left an open packet of chips on the back seat, and now they are feeding from them and there is poo everywhere. I am terrified of birds. Do you think you could send somebody out to scare away the birds and clean up the chips, then maybe I will run out there and get my street name and number for you?
Regards,
Tony
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Road Trip 2
ORIGINAL AD:
Hi all, we are two Hong Kong guys (19yo & 26yo) heading to Adelaide on next Tuesday, Feb 16. We are going with our lovely Apollo Wagon which are now offering 2 more seats for those who are interested in joining our adventure!
So if you are willing to share the petrol cost & happiness with us, what are you still waiting for?! We are also planning to go along with another car, bigger group means more fun!!
We will go through Busselton, Margaret River, Denmark, Albany, Esperance, Nullabor, Port Lincoln, and finally Adelaide, probably in the 10st day.
Call or text us on 0422******* (Optus)
*Actual departure day can be adjusted to suit your situation. Let's talk with us now!
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Don:
Hello you there!!
Put me down for the ride. I want to go with you and your lovely apollo wagon. I had one once, and I made love in it numerous times.
If you would like me to come with you, I would feel honoured. Please contact me.
Regards,
Tony B. Smalls. xx
___________________________________________________________________
From Don to Tony Smalls:
Hey Tony, do u have a mobile number? It would be better to contact u in that way. BTW, we have changed the departure date to 16 Feb morning, Tuesday, as requested by another car whose we are going with. Do u mind that? cheers. Don
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Don:
Don the man,
I do not have a mobile phone. A pelican stole it a week ago in Mandurah. Pretty annoyed about that. Do you have beef with pelicans at all? Because if you do, and we see one on the way, do you think we could gang up on it? Teach it a lesson?
16 Feb in the morning couldnt be more perfect for me. Im just looking to have an absolutely fantastic time and getting CRUNK!!!! Do you drink alcohol? We are going to have the best time.
Looking forward in anticipation of a great roadtrip,
Tony Smalls
___________________________________________________________________
From Don to Tony Smalls:
Hey Tony,
i feel sorry about that...my mobile number is 0422814240, just in case u wanna call me...i just got one more guy riding with us, and going to meet him at 10am next morning, at the Britannia Backpacker on William St. We are gonna talk about what to buy and what to play along the road. If u see this message, would u come too? or we will meet each other at a later time.
i am not good at alcohol, but of course i will drink with u guys along the road, when i m not driving! DON
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Don:
Is Don. Is good,
I dont appreciate your lack of sympathy about my phone. I went into a deep depression for 3 days after and had to check myself into Greylands Mental Facility. I broke out on Thursday.
I really dont have time to meet up. I dont stay in one spot for more than 30mins. Life is hard on the run. So id prefer we just stick to email until the departure date. OOO I have a couple of requests for what to play on the road! Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus please :-). And we should buy 3 cartons of VB and just two of Emu Bitter.
Why will you not drink when you're driving? I will. I'll do it for the team!
Regards,
Tony Smalls
___________________________________________________________________
From Don to Tony Smalls:
Is Tony. Is good too. i really feel sorry about that, hope this trip can help u forget that pain! Where r u staying now? i really prefer meeting in person~ hopefully tomo.? 30 mins is more than enough. we will plug our iPhone into the car, so u may play anything u want, just download into our iPhone! BTW, we will altogether have a gathering lunch on monday! Everyone must come~ Will let u know the time and place later. Looking forward to yr confirmation! Cheers.
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Don:
Donna,
I hope it helps me forget the pain too. Im kind of all over the place now. I cant go home because the authorities are staking my place out. So just wherever really. Last night i found a hammock in somebodys backyard, so I made that my bed.
I have an ipod and id really appreciate if we play that instead. No offense, but my music is best. I also have some 'hello kitty' car seat covers we can use.
Lunch is a good idea. I havent eaten in days. The last time was when i managed to break into the back of coles supermarket and get some bananas. Why are all the best foods shaped like penises?! I would really like it if you can give me and time and place then, at the last minute, change it to something different. The men who are after me wont know how to trace us then.
Regards,
Tony B. Smalls
___________________________________________________________________
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Fax Through Time
THIS IS IN REPLY TO AN ADVERTISEMENT FOR A FAX MACHINE
_____________________________________________________________
From Issey to Tony Smalls:
Hey,
Thanks for the email. Do you want to come down to see the fax machine?
cheers,
Issey
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Issey:
Hello My good lady,
I am very keen to get down and take a look at the fax machine. Fortunatley i only need a select few parts from it and will give you a top price for them.
Are you happy selling just a few parts?
Good wishes,
Prof. Tony Smalls
___________________________________________________________________
From Issey to Tony Smalls:
Hi Tony,
Im a guy. lol. I am alrite with that. Just let me know when u wanna come down and i will make myself free on that day. My phone number is 0430******
Cheers,
Issey
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Issey:
My deepest apologies issey, has I known I would be have been much more gracious (women can be so difficult sometimes!)
Yes I would loveeeee to come meet you. Perhaps we could meet over a glass of fine wine?
The parts I have been chasing for a long time. They should finally complete my masterpiece.
Love Tony
___________________________________________________________________
From Issey to Tony Smalls:
Haha. Its okaye. We all make mistakes. Come over to my place to check out the parts. What are the parts that u are looking for anyway? Are you free tmr in the morning? Say at 10pm? My address is 42 ******** St, ******** WA 6009. Opp UWA. Ouut of curiosity, May i know what are "inventing" or masterpiece?
Lol. Hope to hear from you soon Tony.
Cheers
Issey
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Issey:
Hey issey,
Your place sounds great. Tommorrow i'm a little busy but perhaps sometime at the weekend? I'll bring over a bottle of wine and mean girls and well make a little night of it.
What do you think the invention is? It's a buy secret but I could give you some clues?
Love Tony-baby
___________________________________________________________________
From Issey to Tony Smalls:
Yup. Weekend should be fine. But, im meeting my frens in the evening. probably will get home late. Hpw bout in the morning? Anyway, i dun take alcohol drinks.
Maybe if u want, we can get grab a bite at a kebab restauran near my place. Hahh. Honestly, I have no idea what are u making. Hahh. Maybe u should tell me more about urself.
Cheers,
Issey
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Issey:
Well let's just say, with this little machine, I could go back and take you out for dinner a long time ago. Any guesses?
___________________________________________________________________
From Issey to Tony Smalls:
lol. I have no idea what are u trying to say. U can make a machine which could bring u back to the past? hahh... Or are u pulling my legs?
___________________________________________________________________
From Tony Smalls to Issey:
A time machine silly. And once it's finished, you and I shall travel time together foreverrrrrr
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Massage
ORIGINAL AD:
i'm really wanting a massage from another guy (i'm a guy) and would love both of us to be totally starkers. not anythin weird just body contact. any fit young guys interested? could make it worth something...
___________________________________________________________________
Hello,
I am very keen to give massage. My last boyfriend say I very fit. Please let me know if you want me to touch you.
Excited,
Tony Smalls
___________________________________________________________________
Hi Tony. Thanks for your email. Cam you let me know how old you are?
Do you have A pic at all?
___________________________________________________________________
Hi,
What is you name?
For you, I can be what age you want me to be. However, I currently 23.
Yes I do have a pic. Thank for asking. Do you?
Regards,
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
hi tony. My name is Paul. I do have a pic but not here with me as I am at work. What would u be after from this?
___________________________________________________________________
Paul,
You sound like very nice person. After from this, I would be 21. I can never be over 30. I like 26. Nice number. Where you work?
Can I give you massage?
Tony
___________________________________________________________________
So if you're 23 you're 23. You can't be another age.
Where I work isn't really that important.
So what would you be expecting if you were going to give me a massage?
Would you please tell me what you look like or, preferably, send a pic.
Also can I ask what background you are from?
Thanks
___________________________________________________________________.
Yes currently 23. But sometimes I more and sometimes I less. It what you would like.
Work isnt very important. I just wanted to know what you do for living. I am Australian. But my uncle is from Beijing I think. Me dont really know. I guess there some Asian in me. There can be Asian in you too if you would like? Or not. Only if you like that sort of thing. I dont know.
I also do not have picture. I also at work. However my freind say I look like dad. And many people say he looks like famous man. You may know him. Here is picture.
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
ok so ur a smartass hey? Nice
have a good one
__________________________________________________________________
I do not understand? Have a good one what?
I say i do not have a picture. So i just try to find something for you. Sorry if it offend. But when i get home i can send picture.
Can i still massage?
Tony
___________________________________________________________________
Let's talk about it later. I still don't even know what you want from it.
___________________________________________________________________
When is later?
I want to give you massage. That is what I want. This is what you ask for?
I will not lie to you. I gay. So if curious I can help. But if no, that is okay. I am very happy to just massage you and see what happen. Are you curious?
Tony
Monday, February 1, 2010
Car For Sale
ORIGINAL AD:
You will be hard pressed to find this model at this price, we have already reduced from $5k, we just need to sell urgently.
Rego Until May'10
Air Cond - New compressor Jan 2010
Power Steer
Auto
Dual Air Bags
ABS
Trac Control
Tint Windows
SS Rear Spoiler
Good Tyres
New radiator 2009
__________________________________________________________________
From: tonysmalls@live.com.au
G'day mate, Im very interested. I need the alternator and the front bumper urgently. And you need an urgent sale. Can we agree a price for this?
Regards,
Tony Smalls
__________________________________________________________________
From: the********@iinet.net.au
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 20:22:32 +0800
Its $4k if you want the whole thing mate, too good of condition to sell for parts!!!
__________________________________________________________________
From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Monday, 1 February 2010 8:35 PM
To: the********@iinet.net.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
I understand its in good condition. But I really only need an alternator and front bumper. If I give you $400 for both of them, then you just sell the car for $3600 and you still have your asking price. Perhaps I can offer to buy the centre console too? Mine is a bit damaged and has some 'juices of love' stains. Got a bit rowdy one night with some girl I met!
Regards,
Tony Smalls
___________________________________________________________________
From: the********@iinet.net.au
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 20:44:26 +0800
???? What, sell my parts to you and then sell a car for $3600 that will not work cos it is missing parts, seriously mate, do you really think I would!! Call a wreckers!!!!
___________________________________________________________________
From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Monday, 1 February 2010 9:00 PM
To: the********@iinet.net.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Yeh thats what I expect. Im sure the next owner will appreciate the discounted price for the car. Ill offer $500 for all three parts. That means you can advertise the car for $3500.
When can I come pick the parts up mate? I havent caught your name yet?
Regards,
Tony
___________________________________________________________________
From: the********@iinet.net.au
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 21:03:21 +0800
Seriously, I am not going to sell you any parts off my car. Do you not get it!!!
__________________________________________________________________
From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Monday, 1 February 2010 9:09 PM
To: the********@iinet.net.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Obviously $500 isnt enough. Does $550 persuade you? I need these parts. And i dont think the next owner will care if it doesnt have a front bumper, its barely even recognisable. Just find a woman buyer or something.
I guess I could just buy the whole car, get the parts, then sell it for $3500. Will you buy it back off me?
Regards,
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
From: the********@iinet.net.au
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 21:14:37 +0800
Mate you really are a dum fuck! Piss off!
__________________________________________________________________
From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Monday, 1 February 2010 9:25 PM
To: the********@iinet.net.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Ahh I see. Typical Australian male intelligence. You're a smart one! What are you buying now? Another 'fully sick' commodore? Because I know somebody thats selling a Gen III VY if you're interested?
How about when I buy these parts off you, I throw in that girls number? The one i was talking about before that damaged my centre console. Shes a stunner!
Regards,
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
From: the********@iinet.net.au
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 22:24:18 +0800
Hey fuck ya, you really are a fuckin idiot!!! Mate you make me fucking laugh with your style of thinking, fuck me you are an arse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
___________________________________________________________________
From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Monday, 1 February 2010 10:35 PM
To: the********@iinet.net.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Bogan overload. Bogan overload. Bogan overload.
Alright. Ill take the full engine too. Ill give you four grand for everything. Front bumper, centre console and the complete engine. And i'll call the girl tomorrow and set-up a date. She only costs $200.
I need these parts for my Audi A4 Quattro. I will whack the engine in, then supercharge it, and away she goes!
Regards,
Tony Smalls
___________________________________________________________________
From: the********@iinet.net.au
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 22:47:18 +0800
“Foutre le camp” if you are intelligent to know who to read French, but with your mentality I doubt it
__________________________________________________________________
From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Monday, 1 February 2010 11:00 PM
To: the********@iinet.net.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Telling me to fuck off in a different language. Wow. Surprise after surprise.
I dont think you read my last email. Ill give you the four grand you are after...What do you say? $4500 maybe? I desperately need these parts.
If you continue to refuse my offers, Im just letting you know that I am a ninja.
Regards,
Tony B. Smalls
___________________________________________________________________
From: the********@iinet.net.au
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 23:06:41 +0800
You really are a dickhead.......yeah sure mate you really want the car, wow, I really really believe you....now I am bored, little things bore me and hey you are Mr SMALLS after all, I bet that is why you spruik like you do about this fantasy sex life you “apparently” have, yawn yawn
Bye little man
___________________________________________________________________
From:Tony Smalls (tonysmalls@live.com.au)
Sent:Tuesday, 2 February 2010 1:45:18 AM
To: the********@iinet.net.au
No I do not want the car. I want the parts. The Alternator, front bumper, centre console and the full engine. Ill give you $4500 for it. You can have the rest of the car.
We need to arrange a pickup/drop off. I suggest I leave a briefcase somewhere and you leave the keys somewhere, with the parts at a mutual location. Once we are both happy with the transaction, I will then be free to collect the parts. Does this sound like a good plan to you?
Ive offered this girl to you and you continually turn her down. So you're obviously gay. But thats okay. I am certainly not one to judge people. Im all for gay marriage.
Regards,
Tony
You will be hard pressed to find this model at this price, we have already reduced from $5k, we just need to sell urgently.
Rego Until May'10
Air Cond - New compressor Jan 2010
Power Steer
Auto
Dual Air Bags
ABS
Trac Control
Tint Windows
SS Rear Spoiler
Good Tyres
New radiator 2009
__________________________________________________________________
From: tonysmalls@live.com.au
G'day mate, Im very interested. I need the alternator and the front bumper urgently. And you need an urgent sale. Can we agree a price for this?
Regards,
Tony Smalls
__________________________________________________________________
From: the********@iinet.net.au
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 20:22:32 +0800
Its $4k if you want the whole thing mate, too good of condition to sell for parts!!!
__________________________________________________________________
From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Monday, 1 February 2010 8:35 PM
To: the********@iinet.net.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
I understand its in good condition. But I really only need an alternator and front bumper. If I give you $400 for both of them, then you just sell the car for $3600 and you still have your asking price. Perhaps I can offer to buy the centre console too? Mine is a bit damaged and has some 'juices of love' stains. Got a bit rowdy one night with some girl I met!
Regards,
Tony Smalls
___________________________________________________________________
From: the********@iinet.net.au
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 20:44:26 +0800
???? What, sell my parts to you and then sell a car for $3600 that will not work cos it is missing parts, seriously mate, do you really think I would!! Call a wreckers!!!!
___________________________________________________________________
From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Monday, 1 February 2010 9:00 PM
To: the********@iinet.net.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Yeh thats what I expect. Im sure the next owner will appreciate the discounted price for the car. Ill offer $500 for all three parts. That means you can advertise the car for $3500.
When can I come pick the parts up mate? I havent caught your name yet?
Regards,
Tony
___________________________________________________________________
From: the********@iinet.net.au
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 21:03:21 +0800
Seriously, I am not going to sell you any parts off my car. Do you not get it!!!
__________________________________________________________________
From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Monday, 1 February 2010 9:09 PM
To: the********@iinet.net.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Obviously $500 isnt enough. Does $550 persuade you? I need these parts. And i dont think the next owner will care if it doesnt have a front bumper, its barely even recognisable. Just find a woman buyer or something.
I guess I could just buy the whole car, get the parts, then sell it for $3500. Will you buy it back off me?
Regards,
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
From: the********@iinet.net.au
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 21:14:37 +0800
Mate you really are a dum fuck! Piss off!
__________________________________________________________________
From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Monday, 1 February 2010 9:25 PM
To: the********@iinet.net.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Ahh I see. Typical Australian male intelligence. You're a smart one! What are you buying now? Another 'fully sick' commodore? Because I know somebody thats selling a Gen III VY if you're interested?
How about when I buy these parts off you, I throw in that girls number? The one i was talking about before that damaged my centre console. Shes a stunner!
Regards,
Tony
__________________________________________________________________
From: the********@iinet.net.au
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 22:24:18 +0800
Hey fuck ya, you really are a fuckin idiot!!! Mate you make me fucking laugh with your style of thinking, fuck me you are an arse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
___________________________________________________________________
From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Monday, 1 February 2010 10:35 PM
To: the********@iinet.net.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Bogan overload. Bogan overload. Bogan overload.
Alright. Ill take the full engine too. Ill give you four grand for everything. Front bumper, centre console and the complete engine. And i'll call the girl tomorrow and set-up a date. She only costs $200.
I need these parts for my Audi A4 Quattro. I will whack the engine in, then supercharge it, and away she goes!
Regards,
Tony Smalls
___________________________________________________________________
From: the********@iinet.net.au
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 22:47:18 +0800
“Foutre le camp” if you are intelligent to know who to read French, but with your mentality I doubt it
__________________________________________________________________
From: Tony Smalls [mailto:tonysmalls@live.com.au]
Sent: Monday, 1 February 2010 11:00 PM
To: the********@iinet.net.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Telling me to fuck off in a different language. Wow. Surprise after surprise.
I dont think you read my last email. Ill give you the four grand you are after...What do you say? $4500 maybe? I desperately need these parts.
If you continue to refuse my offers, Im just letting you know that I am a ninja.
Regards,
Tony B. Smalls
___________________________________________________________________
From: the********@iinet.net.au
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au
Subject: RE: Reply to your "VT 98 Holden Commodore ACCLAIM" Ad on Gumtree
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 23:06:41 +0800
You really are a dickhead.......yeah sure mate you really want the car, wow, I really really believe you....now I am bored, little things bore me and hey you are Mr SMALLS after all, I bet that is why you spruik like you do about this fantasy sex life you “apparently” have, yawn yawn
Bye little man
___________________________________________________________________
From:Tony Smalls (tonysmalls@live.com.au)
Sent:Tuesday, 2 February 2010 1:45:18 AM
To: the********@iinet.net.au
No I do not want the car. I want the parts. The Alternator, front bumper, centre console and the full engine. Ill give you $4500 for it. You can have the rest of the car.
We need to arrange a pickup/drop off. I suggest I leave a briefcase somewhere and you leave the keys somewhere, with the parts at a mutual location. Once we are both happy with the transaction, I will then be free to collect the parts. Does this sound like a good plan to you?
Ive offered this girl to you and you continually turn her down. So you're obviously gay. But thats okay. I am certainly not one to judge people. Im all for gay marriage.
Regards,
Tony
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Back2TheFuture
IN RESPONSE TO AN AD FOR A HORSE
_____________________________________________________________
From: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
To: tl.*******@live.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 11:12:01 +1030
Hi lindara,
I don't currently have access to a phone but I just have a few questions. Is the horse in a healthy condition, as this is crucial to my plans. Also has the horse ever been to Russia or Norway?
Regards
David Rooney
___________________________________________________________________
From: tl.*******@live.com
To: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 11:37:11 +1030
hi david the horse is in health condition ,never been out off australia.the horse is at branxton .nsw
___________________________________________________________________
From: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
To: tl.*******@live.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 13:06:12 +1030
Hi Lindara,
Ok good health is good news to me! Especially if hes going to be with me for 60 years!. Never out of Australia, have you ever taken it up into the snow mountains in Melbourne? See it's quite critical that the horse can survive long winters and freezing conditions.
Any help with these questions would be greatly appreciated.
Regards
David Rooney
__________________________________________________________________
From: tl.*******@live.com
To: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 13:29:53 +1030
hi david she gets fat on a snif of grass so i think she be a great horse to go to the snows i havent had a chance to get down to the snows this last year ,but she was born in mountains near mudgee she live there for 3 yrs i have only had her here in the hunter for 12 months .very shore footed horse lindsay
__________________________________________________________________
From: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
To: tl.*******@live.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare.
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 13:38:01 +1030
Hi Lindara,
Oh great she was born in the snow. That's GREAT news. I cant tell you how relieved i am. See i am planning to freeze myself until 2070, and i wanted to take some piece of our history with me to the future. I thought what better piece than a horse! Imagine, this. Theres hover cars everywhere and i'm riding down the highway on a horse! I will get some very strange looks but i can tell you now, i cant wait.
So what price would you be looking at?
Regards
David Rooney
___________________________________________________________________
From: tl.*******@live.com
To: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 14:10:04 +1030
hi david im ask $3500 for her
__________________________________________________________________
From: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
To: tl.*******@live.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 14:15:46 +1030
Lindara,
You ask a good price. For this, i feel inclined to invite you on my journey into the future. I will be like michale J Fox in back2thefuture, the horse will be the delorien, and you my good lady will be the mad scientist. What say you??! Come freeze with me and together we shall enter the future!
David
__________________________________________________________________
From: tl.*******@live.com
To: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 15:12:41 +1030
all you have done is wasted my time you idiot thanks for nothing dont bother contacting me again thanks
_____________________________________________________________
From: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
To: tl.*******@live.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 11:12:01 +1030
Hi lindara,
I don't currently have access to a phone but I just have a few questions. Is the horse in a healthy condition, as this is crucial to my plans. Also has the horse ever been to Russia or Norway?
Regards
David Rooney
___________________________________________________________________
From: tl.*******@live.com
To: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 11:37:11 +1030
hi david the horse is in health condition ,never been out off australia.the horse is at branxton .nsw
___________________________________________________________________
From: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
To: tl.*******@live.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 13:06:12 +1030
Hi Lindara,
Ok good health is good news to me! Especially if hes going to be with me for 60 years!. Never out of Australia, have you ever taken it up into the snow mountains in Melbourne? See it's quite critical that the horse can survive long winters and freezing conditions.
Any help with these questions would be greatly appreciated.
Regards
David Rooney
__________________________________________________________________
From: tl.*******@live.com
To: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 13:29:53 +1030
hi david she gets fat on a snif of grass so i think she be a great horse to go to the snows i havent had a chance to get down to the snows this last year ,but she was born in mountains near mudgee she live there for 3 yrs i have only had her here in the hunter for 12 months .very shore footed horse lindsay
__________________________________________________________________
From: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
To: tl.*******@live.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare.
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 13:38:01 +1030
Hi Lindara,
Oh great she was born in the snow. That's GREAT news. I cant tell you how relieved i am. See i am planning to freeze myself until 2070, and i wanted to take some piece of our history with me to the future. I thought what better piece than a horse! Imagine, this. Theres hover cars everywhere and i'm riding down the highway on a horse! I will get some very strange looks but i can tell you now, i cant wait.
So what price would you be looking at?
Regards
David Rooney
___________________________________________________________________
From: tl.*******@live.com
To: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 14:10:04 +1030
hi david im ask $3500 for her
__________________________________________________________________
From: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
To: tl.*******@live.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 14:15:46 +1030
Lindara,
You ask a good price. For this, i feel inclined to invite you on my journey into the future. I will be like michale J Fox in back2thefuture, the horse will be the delorien, and you my good lady will be the mad scientist. What say you??! Come freeze with me and together we shall enter the future!
David
__________________________________________________________________
From: tl.*******@live.com
To: david_rooney1@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: solid paint mare
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 2010 15:12:41 +1030
all you have done is wasted my time you idiot thanks for nothing dont bother contacting me again thanks
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