Road Trip Beta

ORIGINAL AD:
I am looking for passengers for a relaxed no rush chilledout siteseeing road trip to melbourne. I have a camper that sleeps 2 coumfortbly 3 or 4 not as coumfortubly. Also tent that sleeps 3. I will take 1 to 3 people. The camper has a cooker and a small fridge. Petrol shair is a must and drive shair would be preferabul. I am looking to leave on march 6 0r 7 but I am flexable to a date after that. I am an easygoing friendly 28 year old male from England. If intrested call, email or drop in to my work which is also my home at the moment and ask for Ian. Thankyou
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Helo Ian!,

I want to ride with you on this quest. I am the most chilledout dude you will ever meet. I can drive too, so we can shair the driving and petrol costs. It is preferabul for me to leave on 6 Or 7 March too. My birthday is on the 14th. Maybe we can celebrate that together?

I am very intrested. I am a very coumfortble guy to travel with. Very experienced. Please contact me back via email.

Regards,
Tony
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From Ian to Tony Smalls:

Hey thanks for replying to my gumtree ad. If you want to come then thats cool. We should meet up first I think for a beer and just make shure we will get on I am shure we will. Where are you in perth? Ian
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From Tony Smalls to Ian:


Ian,
No worries. If you have any other ad on gumtree, ill gladly reply to that one two. Oh yay. I want to come alrihgt. Mebourn is my favourite place in the hole of Austria!

Just a beer? How a bout ate of them! Thats what I always say. But id prfer berben. Beer isnt reely for me. When you say chilledout, does it mean we have to do weeed? Coz id be fully open to that if you really want to. Never done it befor. Have u?
I am in Mt Lawley. Were are u?

From Tony
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From Ian to Tony Smalls:

Hey dude Yer I love beer, weed and Berbben so yes I will be smoking weed You dont have to but you can if you want. If it turns out to be a road trip like out of Fear and Loathing then that woulednt be a bad thing ha ha ha ha.

If you want to meet up for a few beers or berbens on sunday I am free. I am living on Ozbourn park at the moment. I am not shure where Mt Lawley is but I can find it. Just give me a cal man. Ian
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From Tony Smalls to Ian:

Ian,

Yes. Ill smoke the green stuff. I cant wait to go to la la land with you. Have you been to la la land before? Will you take me there? What is Fear and Loathing? Maybey you cood hire it out and we can have a movie night sometime. Is it scary? Im not good with scary movies. Have you seen Wolf Creek? THAT roadtrip would be fun.

Oh yeh Ozbourn Park hey? Thats close. Im currently in Gildford. But tomorrow im moving to Albany. Want 2 meete ther?

Looking forward to our trip full of cocaine and underage hookers,
Tony
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From Ian to Tony Smalls:

I think your taking the piss mate. witch one of Tods mates are you!
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From Tony Smalls to Ian:

Ian,
You must have a rather funny bunch of mates if you think this is a prank. I assure you, it is not. My name is Tony Smalls. Some call me a ninja. If we go on this roadtrip, I can help you to become something that slightly resembles a ninja.

I repeat, I do not know this 'Tod' you speak of. He sounds like a fag.

Regards,
Tony
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From Ian to Tony Smalls:

youre some kind of comedian pal! Very funny ha ha ha ha
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From Tony Smalls to Ian:

Ian,

I am very much delighted if you think I am a comedian. Its the best compliment ive had since my ex girlfriend said I have a bigger penis than the guy she was cheating on me with. He was a midget.

So when do we leave? Will you supply the ecstacy? Or will I have to supply that as well as the cocaine and underage hookers?

Regards,
Tony
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From Ian to Tony Smalls:

I am sorry mate but I am not shure if you are for real or just taking the piss what the fuck was all that ninja shit about ha ha ha ha. I am finding this very amusing eather way. Also are you taking the piss with my speeling mistakes or what! I all ways forget to use the spellchecker

Ian
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From Tony Smalls to Ian:

Ian,
I am definitely for real and I am definitely a ninja. Dont believe it? Look behind you. GONE! Gone before you could even turn your head.

So when are we going? I need to get out of this state. Urgently. Im currently out on bail and im as guilty as anything. Got caught red handed. So I need out. When can we go? Please make it as soon as possible. And no, your spelling is all absolutely correct.

Regards,
Tony
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From Tony Smalls to Ian again:

Ian,
I just had a call from my mate Davo. Hes just escaped from Casuarina Prison. Can we get going this arvo?

Regards,
Tony
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From Ian to Tony Smalls:

Yer of course we can no worrys you fucking loony!
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From Tony Smalls to Ian:

Ian,

Okay good. U got everything together? Sorry, havent had time to organise the cocaine. But u must have the weed yeh? Also, because im skipping bail, im going to be out of pocket 50 grand. Theres a pretty easy bank to hit over in Melbourne, all I need you to do is drive. Me and Davo will do all the work.

When can we meet and go? An hour?

Regards,
Tony Smalls
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From Tony Smalls to Ian:

This is constable Mark Butcher. Are you aware that you are aiding a known criminal escape the state? This is completely against Western Australian law. You show a blatant disregard to the community by putting it under such threat. If you know the whereabouts of Tony Smalls or David Swallow, contact me immediately.

Regards,
Mark Butcher
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From Ian to Tony Smalls:

Fare cop guv you caute me red handed! ha ha ha ha your a right jumbo joker you!
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From Tony Smalls to Ian:

Yo man this is davo where the fuck has Tony gone? Have you taken Tony? What the fuck are you thinking. Did you dob him into the copper? Man if you have done anything to tony ill fuck you up. Now are u gonna take us to fucking melbourne or what. i need out of here. if you dont, ill cut ya dick off muthfucka
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From Tony Smalls to Ian again:

Davo mate. Its Tony here. Calm down. I just went to the shops and thought I was being followed so I had to bail. Its okay. Ill come back in an hour.

Ian, Can we leave soon please? Or are you not upto taking us anymore? Please reply with urgency.

Regards,
Tony