Lost Kayak Paddle

The following is a reply to a notice reading 'Lost Kayak Paddle near Coode St Jetty, South Perth on Monday'

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From: tonysmalls@live.com.au

Unfortunately, i did not find your blue and white skee paddle. However, i have found part of a Ford Falcon car door and im sure this could be used as a substitute. Let me know.

Regards,
Tony

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Date: Thu, 31 Dec 2009 17:16:38 -0800
From: chris******@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Reply to your "Lost Kayak Paddle near Coode St Jetty, South Perth on Monday" Ad on Gumtree
To: tonysmalls@live.com.au

Are u some kind of fuckwit?

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From:Tony Smalls (tonysmalls@live.com.au)
Sent:Wednesday, 20 January 2010 12:59:31 PM
To: chris******@yahoo.com

Sorry about the delayed reply. I've been re-checking this email everyday in the hope that your response, being full of intelligence, would somehow alter itself to a lower level of intelligence so I can understand.

However to answer your question, no. I am not a fuckwit. Sorry to disappoint. I am in fact, world improvising champion. To achieve this title, i went through many situations, like yours, where i have to improvise and use an object in which still carries out the task just as effectively. Some bloke from Romania came in second place.

If you open your mind a little and embrace this new way of doings things, you will be back paddling your kayak in no time at all. It is the way of the future.

Regards,
Tony